Christmas greeting from Pareeee

For those of you who have been out of touch (bad you) Grace and I have been in Paris since September, where I am working at the Ecole Normale Superiure (the normal superior school) on a research project. Of course this has left time to discover the wonders of the City of Light, and for all of our dear friends we want to send out this little photo montage of our time here. We hope you enjoy it.

What's wrong with the Dems

This sums up everything that's wrong with our spineless Democratic party:

"Discretion is the better part of valor,” said Senator Max Baucus, Democrat of Montana and chairman of the Senate Finance Committee, told The Associated Press after Democrats apparently had abandoned attempts to add some $40 billion to the House package.

Jesus F Christ, they have a majority both houses of Congress, most Americans support their policies, and those chicken shits run like scared rabbits at any sign of confrontation with those big bad Republicans who are intent on just stalling everything as much as possible. I am just disgusted, and I want all the money and time back that I spent on those losers.

Because I have to say something about it

Last night, I saw the rarest of rarities: a Super Bowl where the game was more exciting than the commercials (which were pretty damn lame, granted, but the game was exciting). Can we see another rarity, a Presidential election run on issues in which the better candidate actually wins?

Of course, here's a flashback to 2004: "now that the Red Sox have finally won the World Series, can another Bostonian break a miserable losing streak and become President?" And we know how that turned out. Moral: sports success does not translate to world affairs. Often, it doesn't even translate to more sports success (hence my bold prediction that the Giants will NOT be in the Super Bowl next year).

Hey, I'm back!

It's been a while, hasn't it? Well, one of my New Year's resolutions was to get blogging again. So, in this new year for the US, in which we might actually select a Democratic president, who am I supporting? Well, as usual I say that any damn Democrat will do, but this is one year in which I am really mean. Hell, I don't like Hillary all that much, and I would gladly vote for her. However, despite Obama's "Columbia" connection (I wonder if he knows how lucky he is to have been in the same school as me :)) I like what Edwards is saying better than anyone else. If only he had a chance.

Anyway, I have great hopes for this blog and I hope if anyone actually reads this to encourage me to do more. I will post stories, music, who knows...

Whatever happened to passion?

In some ways, I was born way too soon. If I had been in my 20s when blogging came around, I would have been tearing up the world with my blog, posting twelve times a day, radical thoughts that would awaken people's minds, bring lots of blogging dollars my way and make me a sex god to women. Yes, I know, there were venues to do just that in the late 70s early 80s and I failed to take advantage of those, but don't harsh my high, man!

Anyway, this is just an oblique way of tackling the damping of the creative fire that used to course through my body, and one of the ways that I literally used to define myself. In my heyday, I was an unstoppable creative force - I wrote a novel, many short stories, poems, hundreds of songs, dozen of movies. When I had a creative buzz going on, when my mind was on fire from ideas, it was a better high than almost any of the drugs I took (oh yeah, I was doing those too). Why I never became famous from any of my endeavors is another subject, and let's face it, better folk than I never succeeded.

But somehow somewhere that flame kind of sputtered. Was it working a regular job (my favorite excuse?) Was it taking up Zen practice, which convinced me that all this was attachment? Was it finding that everything I was doing was something I had done before (sure seemed like it). Having a dog who wakes me up at dawn no matter what time I went to sleep? Was it just, well getting older? Whatever, I have found (as I mentioned in a previous post) that a lot of the things that I thought I valued about myself I just don't do much anymore.

Measure of our days

My dog Blue has developed a limp over the past week that has refused to heal. Part of the problem is of course that he refuses to let it heal. He being a Lab is gung-ho kind of guy and all attempts to curb his insanse chasing after balls, sticks, whatever are futile. I took him to the vet where of course his limp magically went away and the vet just said to put him on anti-inflammatories. But seeing him limp along has given me visions of him in the future, arthritis-ridden as he is sure to be, trying to ignore the pain and fulfill his destiny, which is bring that ball back to me, and dreaming of his younger days.

Having a pet puts the whole cycle of introduction, attachment, loss and berievement into fast forward. And it gets me to thinking about Blue, when he is approaching the end of his days, willjudge his life (OK, I know dogs don't do that, but stay with me for a second). Will he consider that he has had a good life, since he has been able to run and play freely, had all the food he wants (OK, maybe not ALL) , and had a good owner/caretaker/person who loves him more than anything? Or will he focus all the times I left him home alone while I went to work, all the streams and lakes I wouldn't let him swim in, all the rotten bread and other garbage I wouldn't let him eat?

And of course this naturally turns back to me and how I judge my life.

I don't how people do it

There are some people, such as my friend T_, who seem to be able to do it all. You know, he has a full time job at which he is pretty successful, he owns a house, he has numerous hobbies (mostly dealing with computer stuff, software, electronics and music), he is involved with some fringe art groups that make way-out installations, he goes out to musical events a lot AND he has an active sex life (not in a committed relationship, which might be even better). Plus he's skinny and at the age of forty looks like he's twenty-five. (Oh yeah, and he's even a stoner! So much for that myth.)

Whereas I find myself increasingly unable to organize even the smallest sections of my life - witness how I can't even find time to post to this blog. I have my hobbies - I play guitar, I hike, I sail, I cook, I go out dancing, I read, but damn if can find the time to do them. My guitar playing is way off, I haven't gone sailing in months, and I cook once or twice a week most weeks. I don't know if it's age or the increasing complexity of modern life, or low-level radiation exposure, but I don't seem to be able to get it together. OK, since today is the first day of the rest of my life, this is the start of Brian's organized phase! Just in time for my 48th birthday.